My husband and I met when we were both in our 30’s. We had already gone through some shit in our lives so far, and didn’t need to grow up together. We were grown. In turn, we knew what we wanted which led to only 10 months of dating before we got married. About 10 months after being married I was pregnant with our first child. Due to our fast paced courtship and working on our careers, we didn’t have a lot of romantic getaways or time to ourselves. Here are some ways that we have found to keep our relationship fresh while balancing all of life’s demands.
As unromantic as it is, it is important to plan ahead of time for when you want to spend time with your spouse. Especially with children, you need to find a time that works for all family members. You need to find a babysitter, and make sure the time doesn’t conflict with work, school or extracurricular activities. It’s a job in itself to just schedule a date. Lately I have been planning special trips with my husband at least 4 months out. So, think ahead for special dates or events that you and your spouse can spend some special time together.
- Our “scheduled date” we have been doing is going to Winstar Casino in Oklahoma. We find a comedian that is performing to see, stay the night at the hotel, eat dinner and have drinks in the casino, and my husband may play Blackjack. This is not too far from where we live, but it feels like a mini-vacation.
Forget the Holiday Hype
My husband and I only officially give gifts to each other on birthdays and Christmas. We don’t do anything special for Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day or our anniversary. This works for us because we don’t have the pressure of getting gifts or planning something just because it’s a certain day of the year. In fact, I prefer this because it takes tasks off my to-do list. (If either you or your spouse have the love language of giving gifts, this strategy will not work for you.) So, find something that you can do for your spouse that shows you care without having to plan something extravagant.
- My husband has been into reading books to improve his business recently, so when I heard about a really good book along those lines I just bought it. Surprising him with a gift is a good way to show each other that you care, especially during the times that you get too busy.
Life is Too Short
I can easily get caught up in the daily grind of cleaning the house, cooking, making lunches, working out, and on and on. It is important to find the time (sometimes inopportune times) to spend time with your spouse. Hold their hand when driving, binge watch a tv show together, text sweet messages to each other during the work day, etc.
- My husband and I had the best talk the other night after the kids when to bed and he had gotten home late from work. We were able to have a full conversation about life without getting interrupted by “Mom!” “Dad!” or our phones going off.
Dating your spouse does not mean you have to go out of the house all dolled up for a dinner and movie. Dating your spouse is about finding time for your relationship and showing that you care about each other. What are some other unique ways to date your spouse??